Ok maybe it's just me but I feel like when you fall into a certain size bracket, people just assume your super happy with your body. Like we just spend our days walking around in lycra bodysuits and bikinis all day, and our camera roll is full of us in half naked 'body goals' pictures.
Nope.
My body image had never really been a big deal to me, until I began working in bigger fashion retailers with girls of all different shapes and sizes and being more active on social media. Obviously throughout school you go through ups and downs with not only your body image but your image in general, but my biggest insecurities only started to come into play later on.
All my life I've always been quite petite. Growing up I had no boobs, no bum and a bony small frame lmao. But i'd only really start nitpicking about my body when id go into those nightmare fitting rooms where there's mirrors literally everywhere except the motherfucking ceiling or be picking out something to buy, hold it up to myself and someone would go:
'God your tiny' or 'That would fit one of my legs!'
And then there'd be me...doing an awkward laugh and avoiding eye contact.
Then fast forward to 2016/2017 and it's literally surgically enhanced central. Everywhere i looked there were the same women with these insane, dr miami, coca cola bottle bodies!
And unfortunately in most cases (and in some cases women too) this is the male ideology of what a 'good body' is. So waking up, seeing this plastered all over social media, television, etc.. distorted my perception of how my own body looked and highlighted the fact that I was actually really starting to feel some type of way about my natural body.
But then I felt like if i was to voice the subject and complain about being unhappy with my shape/size, i'd be met with looks of either confusion, eye rolls or comments like 'shut up, i'd kill to have your body'.
It's almost as if we've been socially conditioned to think that it's impossible for people of a certain size to dislike their body because being 'slim' is linked to all kinds of positive connotations. Well newsflash it's not impossible, because we're still women and we're all human!
This whole socially constructed one idea of what a 'good body' is drives me mental.
Don't get me wrong, if teyana taylors personal trainer offered me a month free trial with meal prep included i'd be the first in line baby. But i'm learning to welcome the fact that these just might be my own 'good body' years and i'm gonna look back and be pissed that i was complaining. However I'm a 23 year old woman living in an age where fat transfers are as popping as the kebab shop after the club; so i'm always gonna be a bit body conscious and my own biggest body critic right?! Trying to go against the grain and not get sucked into following every unrealistic body trend that comes into fashion is a hard but sharing on the internet that i have my share of bad body days too feels kinda therapeutic?
- Hat: Missguided
- Top: Zara
- Hoodie: H&M
- Skirt: & Other Stories
- Trainers: Schuh
- Bag: & Other Stories
